science_blues | Private Communication to Nurse Chapel, Non-Native

"You did not preform inadequately," Spock assured her.

"At the time," Spock answered slowly, "I was excessively intoxicated. Though not rendered physically unable, in the literal terminology, had I attempted to speak I would have likely expelled the contents of my digestive tract."

Spock's less than reassuring comment on Christine's abilities was lost in the wake of what she said next.

"Intoxicated?" she repeated faintly, her eyes widening as she felt the bottom of her stomach drop. "Oh, God."

She dropped heavily into a chair, her mind racing in an attempt to deny it. Spock had seemed perfectly fine when she'd entered the galley. And she knew there had been no chocolate in those cookies. There was no way what Spock said could be true.

But it had to be true; Vulcans didn't lie, and at any rate there was no reason for Spock to do so. Christine swallowed against the bile rising up in her throat. What she'd done...it was no better than what Marlena had done to Bill. And Spock wouldn't have chosen you any sooner than Bill would have chosen Marlena, a treacherous voice piped up inside her head, but Christine squashed the thought immediately. That wasn't important now.

"Spock," she said at last, fighting to keep her voice steady. "Please. I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't know. If I'd had any idea...I would never have..." She swallowed again, and shook her head. "Please, you have to believe me. I'm so sorry."

Spock had anticipated a myriad of emotional responses. This was not among them. She blinked and arched a brow at Christine.

"I am aware that you did not intend to intoxicate me," Spock responded evenly. "There is no need for apology. My own lack of attention is at fault.

"You do not need to be dismayed," Spock hazarded.

Christine shook her head silently, still not quite able to accept Spock's assurances. If Spock had been as inebriated as she claimed, Christine should have noticed that something was off. She should have made sure. "I'm sorry," she repeated, unable to stop herself.

And now Spock was saying that Christine had intoxicated her, albeit inadvertently.

"But I...I don't understand," she added at last. "What happened? You didn't even touch any chocolate."

Spock's brows rose and she was silent briefly. It was curious, the scattered information humans had on Vulcanoid peoples.

"True, there was no chocolate," Spock conceded. "The intoxicant to which I am referring is cinnamomum verum, cinnamon.

"I rarely encounter cinnamomum verum, I did not identify it before I received a severe interactive dose," Spock admitted. "You are not at fault, you were unaware."

Cinnamon... Christine's mouth went dry. The cookies had been full of cinnamon. Covered in cinnamon. Had Spock really been unaware of what they were making?

She'd never actually seen the effect that chocolate had on Vulcans, but she'd certainly heard plenty about it. How could she have been unaware that there was something else to watch out for?

"But I should have been aware," she said dully. "I should have checked first, and made sure that I wasn't going to get you drunk."

"It is illogical to ruminate upon what cannot be altered," Spock pointed out. "I harbor no ill will concerning my intoxication, you should not be overly concerned."

Drunk was not an accurate description of the state she had been reduced to, but the word served, nevertheless.

"For future reference," Spock continued, "Cinnamomum verum has the probability of generating a much more...precarious state than chocolate based intoxication. It would be wise to avoid risking this."

Christine took a deep breath and looked at Spock properly. She still felt horrible about taking advantage of Spock, but if Spock truly had no regrets...perhaps everything would be all right.

"What do you mean?" she asked, mostly to fill the silence, because she couldn't bring herself to care about the specifics. Clearly the cinnamon was quite potent, probably more so than chocolate. However, Christine had no intention of getting either substance near to a Vulcan ever again, if she could help it.

"Cinnamomum verum, in Vulcanoids, disrupts the chemical balance of the lower brain," Spock explained. "It disrupts cognitive faculty, balance, perception, and causes a rise in inherent body temperature.

"It can cause a severe loss of control," Spock continued slowly, "Without the...preferred outlet, it is not unrealistic to assume violence could occur."

Christine listened intently, her unease returning immediately and increasing with every word Spock said. Something about the symptoms the Vulcan was describing - loss of control, of normal cognitive function, increased body temperature - made her stomach clench unpleasantly.

"What preferred outlet, Spock?" she asked, her voice very quiet.

Christine's demeanor had shifted, Spock noted it silently.

"The predominant effect of cinnamomum verum intoxication is an abrupt and pervasive...I apologize, the nearest Standard terminology of which I am aware is arousal." Spock paused. "The preferred outlet is sexual intercourse."

Christine nodded and looked away, not trusting herself to speak.

An aphrodisiac. She'd been right, then. Spock would never have looked twice at her, if Christine hadn't drugged her. She should have known better than to think things could have been that easy. That this Spock actually found her attractive, when the other one...

After a long moment, she looked back at Spock. "I'm very sorry, Spock," she said stiffly. "I didn't mean to put you in that position. I know you know that, but...I should have realized something was wrong. I'm sorry."

"To what position do you refer?" Spock queried automatically. "I have already informed you that I harbor no ill will concerning my intoxication, there is no reason to continue apologizing.

"As we have clarified why I departed abruptly," Spock continued evenly, "Is is possible to hold a belated discussion concerning our sexual encounter? I do not desire it to be a disruptive social element."

Christine stared at Spock, uncomprehending. She couldn't believe that Spock was being deliberately cruel, though why else she would force Christine to say it out loud, Christine couldn't understand. But...well, a clear apology was the least Spock deserved.

"I mean your...arousal." She could feel her cheeks growing hot again. "Making you feel things you wouldn't normally have felt, and do things you didn't have a choice about."

She paused only briefly before continuing.

"And you don't have to worry, Spock. I don't want it to disrupt anything either." She took a breath. "If you want to just forget it...I promise, I won't mention it again."

Spock's brows rose in tandem as she absorbed Christine's comment. Somehow, despite the gradual clarification of the situation, Christine had still managed to misconstrue Spock's intentions. This was most curious.

"Human speech patterns have a tendency to be increasingly nonspecific when discomfort is introduced, if I am misinterpreting your meaning, please provide clarification," Spock prefaced. "While it is true that I would not have normally experienced the abrupt and severe chemical imbalance that sparked the events of our sexual encounter, it is not equal to state that I would not have pursued the goal.

"Admittedly, I would have preferred a more gradual approach, but as there was no conflict of consent, that would have been unnecessary," Spock added, almost conversationally. "However, if the concept of future intimacy is distasteful to you, I shall agree to forget it."

Christine stared at Spock, not quite daring to believe what she was hearing.

"Future intimacy?" she repeated. "You mean...it wasn't just the cinnamon? You'd want to...to sleep together again?"

She held her breath as she waited for Spock's reply.

Spock considered her query briefly and formulated a response. However, given the current trend of miscommunication, she opted for the shortest accurate reply.

"Yes."

Christine could feel herself relaxing. She smiled and stepped forward, slightly closer to Spock.

"I'd like that too, Spock," she said shyly, realizing as she said it that it was true. She still missed her Spock, and this one wasn't him. But her speech and mannerisms were just similar enough to make Christine feel an affection and comfort with Spock that might not otherwise have been there. And she couldn't deny that she'd had fun, the other day, at least up to the point when Spock had begun acting so strangely.

She almost reached out to catch Spock's hand, but caught herself just in time, dropping her hands to her sides awkwardly.

If she didn't say it now, she might never say it.

"You should know that I normally don't...that is," she started over. "That was the first time I ever...Well, all my previous partners have been male." She hastened to explain before Spock could draw the wrong conclusion. "I mean, not that I didn't enjoy it, but...well...I didn't really know what I was doing, exactly." She wondered if a cure for blushing had been discovered yet, in this universe.

"Your technique was most acceptable, there is no need to disclaim your actions," Spock assured her evenly. "Though in the future, I should prefer we engage in physical intimacy in a less...hm." Spock paused as she considered her own objection.

"I would prefer we not engage in sexual intercourse on the galley counter. Is that acceptable?"

Christine bit back a smile. It would be very rude to laugh at Spock's serious request.

She pretended to consider it for a moment.

"I don't know, Spock," she said slowly. "I admit, my back was a bit sore the next day. But it seemed to work all right. "

She tilted her head and looked at Spock. "Unless you have a better suggestion?"

"Several, as a point of fact," Spock replied. "Though which I vocalize will be determined by the specific needs of the moment.

"Though common," Spock continued, "I do not object to beds as locations in which to preform such activities."

Christine nodded somberly.

"I've always found them to serve the purpose quite well," she admitted. "Though now I'm curious about your other suggestions."

"The allure of several may be unduly damaged with prior consideration," Spock defended lightly. "In short...they are better, if they are a surprise.

"However, if you are asking because you desire to immediately experience one of these options," Spock continued, "Then I would readily suggest them."

Christine considered this for a moment.

She fixed her gaze on Spock.

"I have one question first," she asked seriously. "Are you sure that nothing you've eaten today contains cinnamon?"

"Given that I am not currently experiencing a loss of balance, or sharp vertigo, I must conclude that nothing I have consumed today contained cinnamon," Spock answered evenly and quirked an eyebrow.

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